Who is a helicopter parent?

Q: Who is a helicopter parent?

A: “Helicopter parents” are a much bigger issue for us. Helicopter parents are different – these are people who never leave their child’s side (figuratively and, when possible, literally) and never allow the child to experience failure, confusion, hurt, etc. So rather than complain that everything is the teacher’s fault, they simply do everything for their child. They think they are doing the best thing possible by protecting their children, but in the end they produce incapable adults who are emotionally crippled and unable to deal with any kind of criticism or failure.

A very common example can be seen when kids are given a project to work on for a class. Whether they need to create a poster, piece of art, a diorama, etc, the helicopter parent doesn’t want their child to “get it wrong”, so they do the work instead of allowing the child to do it. They are not only preventing their own child from learning anything from the assignment, but also robbing their child of the pride of creating something. They THINK they are saving their child from the embarrassment of turning in an object that doesn’t look good – but that’s what all the kids are turning in – work done by children, with a child’s skills. So instead, the child gets mocked by classmates because their mom did their homework. (And the other class moms gossip about the woman who did her kid’s work).

I have heard stories of such parenting behavior continuing clear into college! One story I heard is of a young man who received good grades and managed to get a good job. But he quit, in tears, on the first day. His trainer criticized his effort and he was so enraged over being criticized that he walked out. Because his mother had always done his work for him, he had never received criticism in his entire life! So when he finally faced criticism for his own ability, he did not know how to deal with it. It’s a sad situation, but this type of parenting is unfortunately common. 


Q: ヘリコプターペアレントとは?

A: ヘリコプターペアレントの方が私たちにとって大きな問題よ。ヘリコプターペアレントというのは別で、(比喩的にも、可能であれば物理的にも)子供から全く離れなくて、子供に失敗や混乱をさせたり、傷つくことをさせない人たちのことなの。みんな先生のせいだとクレームをいうというより、子供のために何でもやる親のことをいうの。子供を守ることでベストを尽くしていると思っているけど、結局、情緒不安定な、批判や失敗に対処できないどうしようもない大人を生み出すことになるのよね。